Sometimes I just wish that the Lord would tell you exactly what decision you need to make. What happens if you make the wrong decision? You start down the wrong path, you don't learn what you want, you don't meet the people you are supposed to meet, and you may never get married. Maybe that's a little extreme, but that is how I feel. I have been home, in West Valley, living with my parents, for the past six months. ONLY me and my parents. It's been awesome. I work at Quiznos monday-friday being jealous of my coworkers who are in school and taking money from hundreds of people who have better jobs than I do. I love to learn and I am longing to go back to school. So.... Here comes my dilemma that I want the Lord to solve. I have three options.
1. Go back to BYU-I, take out a loan, get a job in Rexburg, live with my old roommates whom I LOVE, work my way up in the program until I finally get on stage in a few years, get good grades so that my school could eventually get paid for, do the disney college program during my semester off in the winter, experience again that wonderful feeling that BYU-I has, get into debt from loans, be four hours away from home and my bestie, but be with my wonderful, wonderful roommates.
2. Stay home and go to SLCC (Salt Lake Community College) with my BEST FRIENDS in West Valley, stay in my singles ward where I have a place and a calling, eventually move out with my best friends, get a better job in the Valley, have a car(my parents), get more involved in the institute where I feel very comfortable, maybe join the Institute choir, go to school for cheap and get free books.
3. Go to Western Wyoming Community College and receive a theatre scholarship that includes in-state tuition, full housing, and a 10 meal plan, only pay the $420 dollar difference for out of state tuition each semester, be two hours away from home, learn more faster, take dance classes, take private voice, get on stage in my first semester, transfer to BYU-I in two years, live with theatre majors :/, be in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people, afraid of what I'll be exposed to.
This is my major worry in my life right now. I think about it 24/7. I feel like whichever decision I make will be okay. I hate that feeling! I just want to know RIGHT NOW what I should do! I'm running out of time. No more dawdling. I need to make my decision. Also, can I say, growing up is hard! I don't mean to sound all whiny right now, but I never realized how hard it is to not be in High School where you have a structured schedule, a social life, and more friends than you could name. I'm excited to finish my education and eventually be a drama teacher. Good thing I know exactly where I need to go to do that! ;) Honestly the hardest decision of my life. I am so worried that I will make the wrong decision. And I feel like there are going to be disappointed whichever decision I make (Let's face it, I'm a people pleaser) My friend asked me how close I was to making an official decision and I said about 100 prayers and 20 discussions, but I feel like no matter how much I talk about it or pray about it I will never get a confirmation.
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